"Tell" me about it!

I don’t remember there ever being a time when I have been absolutely sure of myself…

I suddenly realize this when "he" tells me that my life is all about reassurance… and then I start reviewing it… and remembering... And thinking...

May be he is right… when I do something.. I need someone  to tell me it was good or awesome…  I look for comments because I don’t believe that it was good enough on my own…

It's quite contradicting because I am always so confident about what I do… and I know that I am good...

So why is it that I need someone to tell me something that I already know…

When is someone ready? Ready to say that YES  this is the right thing to do… I know it and I own  it… and I don’t need anyone to tell me that. Am I ready? Do I know what I want anymore…

I know.. I wanted a family... I know I also want a career... But which one do I want more?

I guess I will never have it all figured out… and I'll go with what I get more of... But the question I keep asking myself is... Is it making me happy?

At all?

Why online check-ins ruined my love life

Why online check-ins ruined my love life...

I was recently on a really long flight back home. Travelling back to Bangalore, India from San Jose, Costa Rica. There were 3 flights in total; San Jose to Miami- 3 hours, Miami to Doha (longest leg of the travel) – 15 hours and Doha to Bangalore -4 hours.  And like any other normal person I wished I get to sit next to someone interesting. Maybe chat a little bit, flirt or just gawk even. (If you do not wish this secretly while travelling alone on a flight, you are too normal. Please stop reading this blog because it is meant only for people with a certain level of abnormalities).

Before my travel, I met this old friend of mine who announced his engagement and was extremely excited. As an (acting) good friend, I felt obliged to act as excited as he was and congratulate him. But it didn’t seem good enough. So I continued my (fake) excitement and asked him how they met. It felt like he was ready with not only the answer to my question but also a much practiced one. It had a story, a plot with jokes, drama, fear- the whole deal. Phew!

In a jist, he said they met on a flight while he was travelling from Bangalore to Chennai and they hit it off immediately. I stood there is shock and awe because “that” flight is 50 mins long… or short… or long.. Whatever! Moving on.... How on earth did he even start a conversation, leave alone find love on that flight?

I went back home feeling happy for my friend and feeling jealous about the fact that I have never met/ found/ seen/or even sensed anyone remotely interesting sitting beside me on a flight. It was time to do what Amazonians do best “Deep Dive” (I’m not kidding about this, it’s on a public website)

And what other great time to do that deep dive, than being on a ridiculously long flight yourself. So it began. 3 flights from Bangalore to San Jose and not one... I repeat... not ONE single interesting person sitting beside me. I was visibly upset. If it could happen to my friend, why not me? WHY GOD, WHY?

Then it was time to come back from San Jose and it was on my last leg of travel that it struck me, that it’s the bloody online check-ins that are to blame. Let me tell you how. So, I am obviously a certain level of internet savvy and I know that checking in online will not only help me land a window seat but also considerably decrease my standing in queue time at the airport. It’s an intelligent thing to do. Period.

What struck me later, is that if I ever have to find someone who I will be able to have a decent conversation with, will need to be at the same or higher level of internet savvy-ness and will do exactly what I do. Check-in online. So, if I find a guy sitting on the center seat (no matter how good looking he is) I’m immediately going to judge his savvy-ness.

And there I had it, the conclusion to the question I asked myself. That why I have never met/ found/ seen/or even sensed anyone remotely interesting sitting beside me on a flight.

Thank you online check-in, you ruined my love life! 

"OMG!! What do I do now?"

If this were 2010, I would have reacted to that very differently.

So what has changed now?  

I don’t believe that I have changed as a person, but I do know (for a fact) that there are a few people who have made an immense impression on me and the way I would think / react to situations.

A few years back when I had problems, I'd approach a lady to find solutions. To my surprise, post that conversation I'd come out smiling about the fact that I already had the solutions ready in my head. The ease with she could do this was amazing.

Each and every conversation (I mean it when I say each). Even if it was for 30 seconds, I learnt something from her.

One person whose facilitation skills are un-parallel to anyone I know.The one lady who made an impression to last a lifetime.

Sarita Gadgil: I truly, deeply miss my conversations with you.

if u want to get somewhere... Start walking

Its strange how people want things / opportunities / growth to fall in their laps without even bothering to work towards them.
What I'm going to share is my personal opinion. n if someone has another.. *thumbs up* to you.

I mean seriously!
I think is extremely kiddish to blame your luck for things that you haven't achieved.

In my opinion u didn't want it bad enough! Because dreams are like being obsessed with something or someone.
Think about it when u eat sleep drink walk lie.... Just don't let it leave your thoughts....
be obsessed!
There is no such thing as bad luck!

An excerpt from my diary....

( originally written by me on Friday, February 25, 2011 at 11:05pm ·)

......
.....and today... 22nd oct travelling back from Jamshedpur to Kolkata - a not so good experience. The train is stuck between Ghatshila & Jhargram due to some agitation on the trancks...

its been more than an hr and a half and i'm beginning to get a little bugged... not at the delay... BUT at the company...
Let me tell you why...

--- sitting beside me is a serviceman with his friend sitting opposite him. Their opening conversation when we boarded the train was abot his BOSS.... and how he cant provide them with a decent laptop. Hoe essential it is to have a good laptop.... how much money does the boss make.... and how easy it should be for him to afford one...-- this conversation lasted an HOUR!!

--- a Mallu man who had captured the window seat opposite mine was not talking... that does not mean he was silent either... he was SLEEPING!! and SNORING!! ... he was snoring soo loudly that the entire compartment wanted to buy him TEA!! -- WE WISH!!

-- at my right hand side is a mom & her son who keeps calling her husband every 30 mins & each time she reminded him... how she did not want to travel today... how she got intutions that today was not a good day to travel.... and also that she was fine...!!  FINE!! did she just say FINE??? .... how? how can you call someone every 30 mins... n crib n cry about your journey... & say i'm fine??? - - -  uuugghhh!!!

-- there is a 5 yr old girl sitting in the seat behind mine with her mom... who just cant stop talking... - -

with such AWESOME company.... how can you get bored??

BIG JOKE!!

..................

when asked "what is love"?

(originally written by Me on Sunday, March 1, 2009 at 10:02pm )



A couple of days back someone came up to me & asked "what according to you is love?" or when do u decide that now ur finally in love??.....
honestly..... i didn't have an answer to her question - - because i had never thought over it - - LOVE - the expression has been taken for granted so badly - - that the true meaning seems to have blurred out somewhere in mid air - -
So i asked a couple of friends around & here's what i got in return - -
1) Love is when u hear violins in the air - -
2) its when ur smiling all the time- -
3) its when u know that ur willing to sacrifice the most precious things for that person - -
4) love is to compromise
5) love is when u want to think its love - -
love is this love is that - -etc etc - -

the answers seemed to be extremely vague - - coz i believe that i'm in love - - but never have i heard violins, i'm not always smiling (thanks to the rickshaw drivers in mum) - n I'm definitely not the types to go around sacrificing my precious things - - i hate compromises...& the likes - - & i'd still like to believe that i'm very much in love - - n i definitely didn't wake up one morning thinking - - OK today seems to be a perfect day to fall in love - - so be it - - (bullocks)

For me - love is gradual - is thought over - - is a decision that requires ur heart & ur brain to work simultaneously - - because there is nothing worse than falling for the wrong person - -it is definitely give n take.....but what - - u dont give ur problems & take their peace of mind!! NO - - u have to decide what makes both happy - - u need to keep urself happy 1st because that the only way u'll spread happiness- - u have to love urself to spread love & only then will u be able to love & be loved - -
sound extremely selfish - - i know - - but think about it - - if u dont sacrifice the things u love for someone - - u'll be happy - & only a happy person can spread happiness - - & bring happiness to loved ones - -

alot of people may think otherwise - - -its obviously each individual's persons choice - - & its respected.

tanya.

tangled beads

rakhshabandhan has never had a very big significance in my life..... not since school when i'd practically carry 50 rakhis n tie them around like distributing paper pamphlets on the street..... fun times... :)

although this rakshabandhan was different...why? no! didn't do the tie a rakhi thing... considering i have a sister.

but we (my sis n i) really had some quality time 'bonding over beads' .... lol! 

it started out as something that we wanted to pass our time with ... but ended creating this....

we have to say 'youtube' has been a n inspiration... coz thats where we learned to loop the thread to make a double lined necklace.... 

 the funny part is that..... 'operation BEAD' was supposed to be a random string of beads in all shapes sizes n colours...... we would have never imagined that randomness had so much thought behind it... haha


so this random piece of jewelery was very actually got a whole blueprint to begin with...haha..
In the end we were really happy with what we had created....  along with the bangle , pot n book (that you see behind the necklace) and a shrug

 thats all from me today.....

Sonia @ConfusionCrumbs 
Tanya @tanzzitaa